The Hardest Thing About College

Since my last blog post, I have joined a sorority and successfully completed my first semester of college! That feels like so long ago, but at the same time, the days are flying by. It has been an adventure, but lately I have been feeling like I have a lot to write and say. College is so much fun. I love being on my own and making my own choices, but I also love being able to go home when I want to... There is no doubt in my mind that I picked the right school!

When people ask me how I've adjusted to starting college, I say "Great!" with a smile because that really is the truth. I've had academic success (so far ;) ), I love being a part of my sorority, and the friendships I've made are the best I've had in my entire life. But with that being said, being in college is a lot different than I expected and sometimes it is really hard. While my classes are difficult and I am constantly busy, I'm very good at managing my time so that really wasn't a surprise to me. What really hit me hard that I didn't see coming is the constant pressure I feel to do and be everything. In high school, I had choices for what I wanted to do with my time, but every day and every week was pretty much the same: school was from 8-3, I cheered a game or had practice, did homework, and hung out with my friends on Saturday nights. In college, my schedule is different every single day and my longest day of class is 4 hours, so obviously I have a lot of downtime. With so much freedom and such a Type A control freak personality, I can't rest until I feel like I'm getting up early enough and checking off every single thing for the day, staying involved, being a good friend/daughter/sister, making money, having fun, working out... and the list goes on and on. If I go out with my friends, I get mad at myself for not staying in and studying, but when I stay in and study, I fear that I'm missing out on the most fun night of my life. When I take time to just chill out, my mind races about the things I could be doing to "make better use of my time."

It wasn't until the start of this semester that I realized how weighed down and exhausted I truly feel because I give myself such a hard time. As I was on the brink of a meltdown earlier today, I realized I am trying to do and be a thousand things at once and it's just not realistic and that is OKAY. I wanted to put my thoughts to words because I know I'm not the only person that feels this way. I think everyone needs a reminder that you don't have to do everything all at once to be enough and if you fall short, you don't have to give yourself a mental beating! In a world full of social media where we are constantly comparing our lives to what we see online, it is so so important to realize that we are all on different paths and just because you think someone has it all together on their Snapchat story, doesn't really mean that's what is going on behind the scenes. I have been guilty of this for way too long and am vowing to find balance between being productive and being crazy and to cut myself some slack every once in a while... stay tuned :)